On the Brink of History for Wyoming

I woke up this morning, nervous and excited.  My home state of Wyoming is on the verge of deciding on full marriage equality.  This fills me with emotion as I think of people I know who have lived whole lifetimes in the closet, who have never been afforded the equal rights of other couples, who have lived in silence.  I could not make it to the rally for marriage equality in Casper this morning, but am there in spirit and solidarity with my fellow Wyomingites on the brink of this momentous event. 

Growing up in a small town in Wyoming, I was not exposed to a lot of diversity.  When I was around 8 or 9, my mom took me to a concert in Salt Lake City.  As I looked around, I remember vividly feeling a little confused.  My mom has told the tale before and I apparently said something like 'what is wrong with these people?' after looking around the audience.  The audience was predominantly lesbian and I was so confused.  Not sure what her response was, my guess is that she just avoided the question and let me wonder.  All I knew is that I loved the feeling of solidarity in that concert.  Little did I know that when I was older, I would become one of' 'those people'.

In Wyoming, when I was growing up, I could not imagine that a mere 25 years from my graduation from high school, we would be looking at the chance of full marriage equality.  Wyoming is a quirky state.  There is homophobia, racism, and sexism, as there is everywhere.  There is a bit of a 'live and let live' attitude that is still also tempered with a quiet acknowledgment that its all fine if you keep it to yourself.  It's been 25 years since I lived there and I know that my friends who were out and gay in my small town later actually ran into a great deal of acceptance.  This was not the case when I was growing up. 

My family attitudes and the attitudes of the society I grew up in kept me pretty closeted for years. My closest friends knew I was gay, but it wasn't something I would disclose in the workplace or to anyone outside of a very close circle, up until very recently.  I still feel discomfort and fear about public displays of affection.  Some of this is knowing that in my current state, Colorado, and in Wyoming there is still some pretty deep homophobia. I think the memory of Matthew Shepard and others who have been murdered, harassed and brutalized still breeds fear among all of us who identify as something other than heterosexual.  Even in my family, my partner,  of almost 14 years, would still be described as 'my friend' by some family members.

Still, I have the models of the people that came before me. Twelve years ago, I had the model of a close family member who came out to me at 15.  I watched him grow and be totally out and comfortable with who he was with his family, friends and community.   The models of people that were out and proud to be who they were helped me open my closet door wider and wider.   

And now, same sex marriage equality is sweeping the nation.  In a mere 24 hours, I was stunned to watch my current home state of Colorado have full marriage equality.  A picture of the first same sex couple to marry in my county was printed on the front page of our local paper.  Someone responded to this picture by writing a letter talking about the 'inappropriate' image for children on the front page of the paper.  Does she not know that a lot of us have children? That her hurtful attitudes affect them more than a picture in the newspaper depicting love between two people?  There was also someone in the comment section who talked about 'perversion' and the moral decline of our society.  However, the vast majority of the comments were supportive and railed at the hurtful attitudes expressed by the writer of the letter and the commenters.  The change has come thanks to so many who have given so much to see this happen.  The hurtful homophobic rants are still there, but they are being drowned out by a much bigger voice of acceptance and love.

Tomorrow, I hope and pray that the federal court rules in favor of marriage equality for all Wyomingites.  My home state is a jumble of contradictions, with little diversity, but a lot of love, strong communities and natural beauty.  May Wyoming choose to embrace all of its citizens and validate who they are with full marriage equality.  May my home state and its citizens accept others so that they can be who they are, fully, and without reprisal.   We are the Equality State, let's prove it.

UPDATE: Wyoming did it!! In just 7 days, same sex marriage will be legal in Wyoming barring any appeals.  The governor said publicly that he will not appeal, so I think we are 'in the clear'.  Seriously, did not think this day would come in my lifetime.  Change is here and it is here to stay.